


Cullen's relationship with Lyrium and Tevinter Mages.

by Hawke



Series: Culrian: fate is a conspiracy that drags them apart, love is a bond that draws them together [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Lyrium Addiction, Lyrium Withdrawal, M/M, Mild Spoilers, My OCD appreciates the exact 10000 words, Turns out the healing cock does appear later though..., dorian doesn't have a healing cock but he does have a healing heart, sick, slow build is slow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-27
Updated: 2015-01-31
Packaged: 2018-03-09 06:59:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 10,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3240587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hawke/pseuds/Hawke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cullen goes missing, and while everyone (especially a certain tevinter not-magister) worries that he has been kidnapped, he fights his internal demons and the bitter cold.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ex-Templar Seeking a sparring partner

**Author's Note:**

> Due to my mild autism, some parts may come across as narrated by an Elcor (see mass effect). - concerned. Hope you enjoy it anyway! - excited.

Retrospectively, the guard at the front gate realised that letting the commander of the Inquisitions army outside at just past midnight clothed in nothing but a thin shirt and breeches wasn't the best idea. When he had hesitated at the time, Cullen's bloodshot eyes had fixed him with such a menacing glare, and his deep rasping voice spoke with such authority that the guard had no choice but to let the commander out. While Cassandra's efforts to keep Cullen's withdrawal a secret succeeded in keeping the soldiers faith in their commander, it meant the guard was not to know Cullen was suffering from a bastardous combination of lyrium withdrawal and nightmares from his time at the Kilnoch Hold Circle and Kirkwall. 

 

Cassandra was growing impatient as she warmed up for her morning spar with Cullen. He rarely missed it, as it gave him a chance to wake him mind and body, and would usually be the only true combat sparing he would get in the day, the recruits were too green for him to let himself fight unreservedly. Resigning herself to the fact Cullen had skipped out, probably an early morning meeting in the war room with the Inquisitor, she began to clear the snow around a training dummy to spar with. When the snow suddenly vaporised, Cassandra leapt back, startled. 

"If I knew it were that easy to scare you Cassandra, I would have done it earlier. Don't you usually train with our Commander of a morning?"

Cassandra turned to face Dorian, a look of anger on her face. 

"What is wrong with you Dorian? You could have burned me!"

He laughed and shook his head as if disappointed.

"Have you so little faith in my magic, seeker?"

It was at that point a messenger ran up to the two. Bowing swiftly to them both he turned to Cassandra to speak. 

"Lady Seeker, I have an important missive that must be attended to immediately."

Handing it over, he took a step back to give her a modicum of privacy to read it. Cassandra has barely read a few words before she looked back up at the messenger, confused. 

"This is addressed to Commander Cullen-"

"Apologies milady seeker, he was not in his office and when I called out to his upstairs quarters he did not answer."

She nodded distractedly and continued to read the missive. 

"It is unlike the commander to shirk his duties." Dorian prompted. 

Cassandra nodded absently in agreement before jotting down a few lines on the missive, shaking it so the ink would dry, and passing it back to the messenger. 

"Give this straight to Leliana, she should be in the rookery above the library." The messenger thanked her, bowed to the both of them and jogged away. 

"Anything important?"

"Nothing you need to know Dorian. If you would excuse me I need to check on Cullen-"  
"Excellent I will accompany you." 

Cassandra was unhappy that Dorian was to follow her, however one look at his face showed he was determined to go with.

"Why are you so intent on seeing Cullen?"

"Well either I'm hoping the good commander has yet to wake up and I will be treated to his delicious nakedness " - "Dorian!" - "or I have read every every book in the library and am bored to tears."

 

When they arrived at Cullen's office Cassandra noticed his boots sat next to the ladder to his bed. 

"Excellent, he must still be asleep." 

Dorian had cocked his head to the side and was listening intently. 

"I hear no breathing or movement Cassandra, I don't think he is up there." 

Cassandra had to admit that was true, and when she scaled the ladder Dorian was proven correct. What alarmed her more was to see Cullen's warm gear, complete with his ever present feathery pauldrons, were thrown over the end of his bed. 

"Where the hell could he go in this snow without anything warm?" Cassandra asked worriedly. 

Dorian looked over her shoulder at the room, devoid of any answer.


	2. Let it Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cold is bothering Cullen

_Purple light filled his vision.  
It reflected off the ground and off his armour, searing his eyes. Even when he jammed his eyelids together so hard they hurt, the purple light still pushed through, flooding his eyes and his mind._

 

Cullen stumbled forward in the snow, teeth chattering rhythmically as the wind rushed icy droplets into his body. His hair had started slick with sweat, but had since almost frozen to his head. 

 

_He heard noises and despite his better judgement opened his eyes to the light. Four people stood there. He tried to focus his eyes but the purple filter over his eyes made it difficult. He made out a Templar and a -_

_"Sifting through my thoughts, tempting me with the one thing I always wanted, but could never have."_

 

"S-s-s-i-i-i-f-f-ting." He stuttered out, the continuous and compulsive chattering making speech impossible. Cullen didn't notice, he didn't feel the cold, didn't see the snow, all he saw was the purple -

 

_Maker she was beautiful. Even with the sickly lighting she shone with a radiance that stunned him._

_'Too beautiful' he thought dully._

_Cullen jammed his eyes together, curled his fingers into he hair and began to rock forward and backward, he hoped the rhythmic focus would help him drive the demons away._

_"It will not work. I will stay strong!"_

_She began to speak to him, twisted words that seemed to swirl around him, reaching his ears at different speeds and as such were completely indecipherable. They wormed their way into his mind and pushed at his desire, pushed at his lust...  
Cullen threw his eyes open to face this beautiful demon and instead of being faced with the radiant warden, he saw another mage. Dark eyed, dark skinned, dark haired, all dark and mysterious, and he stepped through the purple light as if it weren't there. The mage bent down to Cullen's level and smiled cruelly. _

_"There will be no living with you."_

_He pushed at Cullen's chest and tipped him backward -_

 

His stumbling came to an abrupt end when he tripped over a rock and pitched forward into the snow.

 

_"I will stay strong. I will endure."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have used some quotes from DAo and DAi. (Also the thought stream is similar to Dead Zone by Stephen King when Johnny meets Stillson at the rally FYI)  
> 


	3. Nah Houston, we're fine, no need to panic, who's panicking?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorting out the missing Commander of the Inquisition always comes first. The missing Cullen will have to wait.

Cassandra turned immediately to Dorian. 

"We cannot let this get out."

"Agreed. I will go speak to Varric about how the good commander is spending the day resting and is not to be disturbed."

Cassandra cocked her head slightly.

"What will that achieve?" 

Dorian sighed, lamenting at the seekers blunt nature.

"Because Varric will be in the great hall where all the guards and soldiers will be breaking their fast and I will very loudly complain that I will be unable to play chess with the commander, and the rumour will spread. Otherwise people will begin to question the commanders absence."

"The real question is whether he left or whether he was taken."

It was Dorians turn to be confused. 

"Whyever would the Commander leave in the middle of the night with none of his warm gear or even boots?"

Cassandra hesitated. The inquisitor trusted Dorian, but she had always had reservations about the Tevinter man. Glancing back at the feathery pauldrons, as much a part of Cullen as his blonde hair and charming smile, she realised she had to trust Dorian if she were to find Cullen. 

"He has been suffering from lyrium withdrawal. For the most part he is fine, but sometimes his mind wanders."

Dorian sighed. "I will speak to the nights guards and see if they saw him leave. If they didn't then we can be hopeful he is wandering Skyhold"

"I could see them while you are speaking with Varric-"

"We want to keep this low key, and if you speak with them they will spread work that the Lady Seeker is interrogating people as to the whereabouts and movements of the Commander, I can be a lot more ... Subtle."

She sighed but conceded Dorian would likely be better to speak with the guards. "I will go inform Leliana, Josephine and the Inquisitor. Maker knows what they'll say when I tell them Cullen is missing."

Cassandra rushed off inform the Important People of the Inquisition, but Dorian walked at a more sedate pace. As he stepped out onto the stone walkway between Cullen's quarters and Solas' workshop, he shivered at the icy wind. His chest gave a sympathetic twinge and he dearly hoped that Cullen was just holed up in some obscure corner of the ancient castle and not outside in the bitter cold. Without his express permission, his mind began to imagine worst case scenarios. 

What if he was out there and they took too long and found a frozen corpse? What if the found him alive, but his digits were frozen and frost bitten? Dorian wasn't familiar with the usage of swords, but fingers seemed important for the gripping of the hilt. What if the cold froze his mind? And what if he had been kidnapped? What vile torture could Corypheus' minions have inflicted on the poor man?

Dorian was so lost in his terrifying thoughts that he opened Solas' door and hit the poor guardsman coming the other way.

"Sorry, it appears I was not paying attention." Dorian stood to the side to let the guard past. 

The guard looked at him oddly, then looked quickly around.

"Ser, you are of the Inquisitors inner circle, yes?"

Dorian nodded.

"It's just, well ... Don't worry, I'm sure it's not important." The guard shook his head and took a step toward Cullen's quarters. 

"Well if it's not important then you have nothing to lose by telling me, and if it is important you will be glad that you told someone."

The guard stared at Dorian for a moment then, apparently swayed by Dorians stunning logic, spoke.

"It's just, I was on midnight duty at the front gate last night and Commander Cullen ... he came through the gate and he, he didn't look so great Ser. I didn't think he should be going out in the snow dressed as he was and looking as pale as he did but I couldn't refuse the Commander..."

Dorian smiled painfully, he heart racing in excitement at hope to find the Commander, and in abject terror at Cullen being outside in this weather.

"It's perfectly alright guardsmen, the Commander is testing a spell to prevent frostbite."

The guardsman looked rather relieved and, bowing to Dorian, walked off. Dorian's smile melted off his face as he hurried to the war room where Cassandra would be, they had to send out search parties.


	4. Death cares for neither station nor money, he is the true supporter of equality

_The purple gradually bled to a deep red. Whereas the purple had encompassed his entire vision, the red seemed to come into focus as a single object. After a moment he saw it, a vibrant red sword in the hand of Knight-Commander Meredith._

_"I will not allow insubordination!"_

_She lunged forward and buried the sword into Hawke's chest._

_'Thats not how it happened' Cullen thought absently._

_As he watched, Hawke changed, first into the Warden, then into Dorian. He choked on the blade, and began coughing up foamy blood._

"No." _Cullen gasped out the word, he felt like there was some harsh pressure on his chest, making it difficult to breathe._

_Dorian smiled, blood staining his teeth. He flung his hand to his head and mocked a swoon._

_"Help! I need a virtuous knight," he turned and stared into Cullen's eyes, "if only there was a **virtuous** knight somewhere." He then coughed a last breath of blood and slumped forward on Meredith's blade. _

"NO!" Cullen gasped and sat up. He looked around, confused. He wasn't in his room he was ... In the snow? He pushed mind to remember but the cold pushed back harder and refused to allow him access to the higher parts of his brain.

He stumbled to his feet and thought he could see something castle-shaped in the distance, maybe? Regardless, he stumbled toward it.


	5. How late is too late?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild triggers maybe? See end for things.

Cassandra, Leliana and Josephine all looked up, alarmed, as Dorian burst into the war room. He looked around.

"Where is the Inquisitor?"

"Left yesterday morning for the Emerald Graves with Iron Bull, Sera and Vivianne." Leliana supplied. 

"Irrelevant, I found last nights guard, he confirmed that Cullen left after midnight, we need to find him quickly." The three woman nodded.

"The snow is rather deep," Josephine said, "he cannot of gotten far."

Dorian followed Cassandra down to the stables and they swiftly prepared and mounted their respective horses. Cassandra grabbed a thick horse blanket and strapped it to the side of her saddle. Dorian nodded in agreement and they both rode out of Skyhold. 

"I'll go left, you go right. I will yell if I find him, you could probably throw up some magical sparks or something."

With that they began their search. While the horses kept their bodies out of the snow, it was still deep and took a long time to traverse any kind of distance. Dorian tried not to think about it, but his earlier dark thoughts about Cullen dying we're returning to his mind. He tried to focus on the ground, searching for the Commander but the longer he took, the less likely he was to find him.

 

Cullen trudged through the snow slowly. Part of him was glad that he couldn't feel much of his body, the rest was alarmed that he was succumbing to hypothermia. What he had thought was a castle had just been some rocks but he kept walking. If nothing else, it was keeping his blood pumping. Slowly he realised that this was the end. He had survived so much in his life and he was going to be brought down by three feet of snow. 

"T-t-t-h-ese t-t-t-t-rut-t-ths -"

_the Maker has revealed to me:_   
_As there is but one world,_   
_One life, one death, there is_   
_But one god, and He is our Maker._   
_They are sinners, who have given their love_   
_To false gods._

He continued to stumble forward, stammering random verses from the Chant of Light. 

"B-b-b-less-s-sed a-a-re t-h-h-ey wh-h-h-o -"

_stand before_   
_The corrupt and the wicked and do not falter._   
_Blessed are the peacekeepers, the champions of the just._

Cullen's legs gave out from under him and he fell into the snow. Where before it had burned a wicked cold, it now felt warm. _He rolled over to face the sky and saw his mother looking down at him._

_"Oh Cullen, always so difficult."_

He smiled, this was it, no more worrying, no more pain, no more anything, just peace. He felt the twinge of dwindling lyrium in his body. He hadn't had any in weeks, but some remained in his veins. Cullen's smile faltered, he couldn't leave this world with that poison in him! Reaching into himself, he called upon the lyrium and threw the magic into the air above him. His final task done, his eyes slid closed, his smile returned to his face.

 

Cassandra was prepared for Dorian's magical sparks. But when Dorian saw blue sparks fly into the air a hundred metres ahead he was taken completely by surprise. He quickly rushed forward and was alarmed by what he saw. Cullen lay in the snow, his blonde hair, white underclothes and complete lack of colour in his face perfectly camouflaging him. Dorian cried out and slid off his horse. He place his hands on Cullen's chest and pushed fire and spirit magic into his body. Dorian was alarmed at the lack of heartbeat and breath in the Commanders chest, and he directed the spirit magic toward convulsing the heart and expanding the lungs. The fire magic he used to ease Cullen's temperature up. He knew too much too quickly would shock his system, but remaining this cold would kill him. It was a delicate balancing act that Dorian refused to allow himself to fail at. 

Cassandra appeared at his side and slid the blanket on the ground.

"Roll him on, we need to get him back to Skyhold."

Dorian nodded and they carefully placed the commander on the blanket. Dorian was pleased to see Cullen had begun breathing and his heart had stuttered into rhythm, even if the former was irregular and shallow and the latter was too fast and rather weak. Together they slung the Cullen onto Dorian's horse and Cassandra led the way to Skyhold, using her horse to clear a path for Dorian's to ride. 

For the whole ride back, Dorian kept his hands pushed against Cullen's chest, infusing him with magic. While he tried to ignore it, the closeness and Cullen's head lolled back onto Dorian's shoulder awoke his arousal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cullen gets rather passive about his impending death and is rather dead-ish for a while there.  
> (He got better!)


	6. Sleeping beauty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1200 words for this one! I'm getting better...

When they arrived at Skyhold Dorian mentioned to Cassandra that they couldn't put Cullen in his room.

"The damn thing has no roof, that kind of exposure is not what he needs right now." 

She agreed and they decided that with the inquisitor in emerald graves, the largest quarters in Skyhold would be empty. It was almost midday and everyone was curious as to why the Commander of the Inquisition was being carried up the stairs and into the inquisitors quarters by the Seeker and the Tevinter. 

"We're going to have a lot of rumours to deal with." Dorian muttered to Cassadnra as they entered the great hall. 

She nodded in agreement "I'm sure Varric can spin some elaborate tale to ease everyone's mind."

The dwarf in question strode over from his usual place near the fire to investigate. 

"What are you two doing?" Varric hissed at them.

"When Cassandra informed me that, contrary to popular belief, you uncivilised southerners do **not** hibernate, I figured we should probably remove the Commander from the three feet of snow he had deemed fit to sleep in last night." 

Varric was taken aback but Dorian's reply, "I guess you will be needing some valid rumours as to Curly's whereabouts? I'll get on that." 

They continued through the great hall and by the time they got to the stairs in the inquisitors quarters, Dorian's arms were shaking from exertion, unlike Cassandra, he did not rely on brute strength to fight and the muscled Cullen was rather heavy. He sighed in relief when they deposited him on the bed, before turning to the fireplace and magically lighting it. While Cassandra gathered up all the blankets to cocoon Cullen, Dorian placed his hands on the Commander's chest and checked his vitals. 

"He is still rather cold, Seeker. I suggest you get some warm broth from the kitchens and we can see if we can warm him up from the inside." 

She nodded and departed with one last look at Cullen. She seemed hesitant to to leave the Commander of the Inquisition in the hands of a Tevinter magister, but it seemed once again that she hadn't much of a choice. 

Dorian brushed back sweat slicked blonde hair from over Cullen's eyes and the action cause the man to twitch and moan. He was still too cool for Dorians taste, but warming him too quickly could cause injury. Remembering his earlier worries about the cold, Dorian checked Cullen's hands and feet for frostbite. Thankfully, despite them being a bloodless white, all his fingers and toes still seemed to be intact. Dorian resisted the urge to check another fragile aspect of Cullen's anatomy that could be harmed with frostbite. 

Dorian continued to magically warm the frozen ex-Templar, but when Cassandra returned he was faced with the new problem of trying to feed the limp man. Dorian sat up on the bed and eased Cullen onto him so he was in a mostly upright position, while Cassandra slowly tipped the broth and rubbed at the commanders throat to induce swallowing. When almost half of the bowl was gone they decided it was enough and tucked Cullen in. 

"We should take shifts watching him." Cassandra proposed. 

"I disagree. If something happens you have no magic to help him. I'll take the bowl back to the kitchens and get some books quickly, he should be fine for the next half hour at lease. He won't get better overnight."

With that, it was Dorians turn to leave. He took the bowl to the kitchen and thanked the cook for the broth before venturing up to the library. He quickly found the book he was in the midst of reading ( _A Study of the Fifth Blight, vol.1_ ). He hesitated before heading back to Cullen, and instead went to the other side of the library tower, searching for a specific book.

"Can I help you Dorian?"

Dorian nearly leapt out of his skin at Leliana's words.

"Maker, you've aged me ten years at least!" He cried out before adding, "and I could have sworn there was a book or two here on Lyrium."

Leliana frowned and began to rifle through the books. "Don't suppose this interest has anything to do with our comatose commander?" She continued before Dorian had a chance to answer. "Here we go, _An Alchemical Primer of Metallurgy: Volume One_ and _In Pursuit of Knowledge: The Travels of a Chantry Scholar_." 

Dorian thanked her and proceeded with haste back to the inquisitors quarters, realising he had been gone longer than he meant to be. 

He heard the shouting as he came up to the final door to the inquisitors quarters. Running through the door and bounding up the stairs two at a time, he was alarmed and slightly relieved to see Cullen awake and on his feet. Unfortunately, he currently had Cassandra by the throat and was attempting to choke her. She was gasping for breath and the lack of blood flow had caused her face to take on a similar pallor to the Commander's. 

"Cullen!" Dorian yelled, throwing the books onto the chair next to the stairs and racing forward. Cullen threw an almost unconscious Cassandra to the ground and rounded upon Dorian, who flinched involuntarily at the sickly commander. His face was still pale but his eyes were sunken into deep black sockets and were bloodshot. Blood oozed from his nose and his teeth were bared in a snarl. 

"Vile demon! You broke the others but I will stay strong!" He began to rush a Dorian but in those seconds Dorians magical instincts kicked in and he slammed a magical barrier into the delusional man. Stepping forward while he was stunned, Dorian placed a hand on Cullen's forehead and pushed spirit into his mind to knock him out. After a few second, the Commander slid to the ground. 

"He may be sick but he's got a mean grip." Cassandra rasped. 

Between them, they carried Cullen back to the bed and tucked him in for warmth.

"What happened?" Dorian asked as he prodded Cassandra's already purpling throat with spirit.

"He woke up screaming about demons and abominations and grabbed me. I was surprised and ... It was difficult for me to injure him knowing he wasn't in his right mind. By the time I realised he wasn't going to stop -"

"He'd already choked you half to death." Dorian finished for her before sighing. "You should go rest up. I can watch him. If anything happens I just put him out again."

"Is it ... Safe? To knock him out like that?" Cassandra asked, concerned.

Dorian laughed. "I'm just using spirit magic to convince his mind it needs to go to sleep, it's a lot safer than bashing him on the head with a blunt weapon, and leaves his face looking a lot prettier." 

Cassandra nodded and left, promising to bring food up for Dorian for dinner. He sat down on the chair facing the sleeping ex-Templar and began to read. Dorian had initially been rather worried about the hypothermia, but it was becoming increasingly obvious that the Lyrium withdrawal hallucinations were doing Cullen, and those around him, more harm.


	7. Awakening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *holds up warning sign*  
> A bit of blood and gore, see end for specific warnings.

Dorian remained in the room with Cullen almost constantly. At dawn, noon and dusk, Cassandra or Leliana would deliver him food and keep watch to allow Dorian to relieve himself, and he allowed himself to sleep curled up next to the Commander on the bed, content that he would awake quickly if the man moved around or attempted to strangle people again. Dorian spent the rest of his time pouring through the books, trying to find a way to cure Cullen. When the food came, Dorian and whoever had brought it would suffer through the task of feeding Cullen, although he was already beginning to look gaunt by the third day of their isolation. 

At least twice a day Dorian was interrupted from his reading or sleeping by a strangled cry. Cullen would begin to thrash in the blankets covering him, moaning and slurring unconnected words. His movements would slowly get more uncontrolled and violent, his voice rising in volume and pitch until he was screaming and Dorian would knock him out. 

There was a moan from the bed and Dorian whipped his head up from the book to watch Cullen open his eyes. This was the first sign of consciousness in three days that hadn't been accompanied by unrestrained movement and painful noises. 

Dorian's hope was dashed as Cullen's eyes rolled to his face and passed blankly by without seeing him. He stayed like that for another few minutes, staring absently at the room. Suddenly Cullen's right hand twitched and balled into a fist, he jerked in a hasty breath and gave a high pitched whine, before his eyes rolled into the back of his head as he began to seize. Dorian sighed, before carefully reaching over and brushing damp blonde curls off Cullen's face, placing his hand gently on the trembling head, and spiriting him into unconsciousness. 

It was later that day when Dorian struck a gold mine in one of the books. While all the others had talked about how raw Lyrium was dangerous to all but the most highly trained dwarves, and that the Chantry closely policed the distribution of refined Lyrium, this one spoke of its use on the Templars. However, as Dorian continued reading his hopes crumbled.

_Over time, templars grow disoriented, incapable of distinguishing memory from present, or dream from waking. They frequently become paranoid as their worst memories and nightmares haunt their waking hours_. 

Dorian threw the book across the room and impatiently ran his hand through his hair. All that told him was **what** was happening, not how to fix it. Although the inability to distinguish reality from dreams did likely explain why Cullen had been out in the snow.

Dorian walked over to Cullen and knelt next to the bed. When not in the throes of his convulsive nightmares, he looked beautiful sleeping. On one hand, he looked years younger with his faced relaxed as it was, on the other hand, it pained Dorian to see the man so vulnerable, his face so blank. It occurred to Dorian that he may never see Cullen smile again. That never again would the mix of determination that he showed to the recruits and pride that he hid from them colour his face. Never again would he smirk gleefully as Dorian unwittingly moved into one of Cullen's intricate chess traps. Never would he blush beautifully as Dorian flirted with him. Sliding his head to Cullen's chest and intertwining their hands, Dorian sobbed himself to sleep. 

"Festis bei umo canavarum, amatus." (You'll be the death of me, love.)

 

 

_Dorian had a sadistic smile and a wicked blade, and Cullen was naked and strapped at the neck, forearms, stomach and thighs to a solid chair._

_"W-w-hat are y-y-ou g-g-" Cullen stammered._

_"Silence!"_

_Dorian reached into Cullen's mouth and with help from his magic ripped out almost half of Cullen's teeth by the roots. Cullen screamed before he began to choke on the blood streaming into the back of his throat._

_Dorian laughed cruelly. "If you aren't careful I'll give you something else to choke on."_

_He pulled Cullen's head forward so the blood would drain out of his mouth. He grabbed Cullen's left hand and pulled off the ever-present gloves._

_"My, my Commander, I never realised you would be so vain."_

_Indeed, Cullen's hands were smooth and uncalloused, rather odd for a man who had spent most of his life wielding a sword._

_"It would be a shame if something were to happen to them..."_

_Wielding the knife, Dorian began to flay the back of his hand. He was precise in his movement, and within seconds the epidermis had been carefully stripped back so it lay attached at the wrist. It happened so quick that Cullen was only initially aware of a rising burning sensation. Dorian had begun to peel back the dermis when the pain reached out and slapped Cullen upside the skull and he resumed his earlier screaming. His whole body tensed, desperate for escape from the pain. He watched in horror as the tendons in his hand stood out in their sheathes, despite the complete lack of a cutis to cover them. Dorian seemed unfazed and began to strip the tendons from the metacarpals._

_"I'm surprised your flesh isn't blue commander, from all the Lyrium you have consumed to corrupt yourself."_

_Dorian then moved his knife to hover over Cullen's chest._

_"Left or right I wonder," Dorian pondered, "Left I think, the better to see that corrupted heart of yours."_

_With that, Dorian began to strip the skin, muscles and blood vessels from the left side of Cullen's chest. Head swimming with pain, Cullen watched dully as his sternum and ribs were revealed, the mess of various bloody tissues falling into his lap as they were removed. He could see his heart beating rapidly against his ribs, and watched them frantically expand and contract as he began to breathe quicker._

_"Why don't you fight back_ commander _?"_

_Dorian sighed and peeled off the bindings on Cullen's right forearm to move it so it secured his arm just above his elbow. Slowly, he drew the blade down his arm, elbow to wrist. Cullen watched dully as the skin parted and bright red arterial blood spurted out._

_"We can't have that can we? How will we see the_ corruption _?"_

_With a touch of magic, the blood flow stopped. Dorian drew the knife along Cullen's arm again, and this time there was no blood, only the sickly squelch as the knife tore through the dermis and into the muscles and tendons. Dorian slid the knife around against the arm bones and cut the the tendons and muscles from their tethering. Reaching in with his other hand, he grabbed the chunk of flesh and brought it in front of his face to examine._

_"Look at it! Corrupted! You uncivilised southern idiot, cannot even keep the Maker's most beautiful gift to you, your body, free of corruption!"_

"-canavarum, amatus-" 

_Cullen jerked his head around. That was Dorian, but a lot more ... Sincere? Loving? Kind?_

_"You think he-I could ever really love you? Corrupted as you are?"_

_Cullen looked into Dorian's harsh eyes, at his own ripped open arm, at the skin and muscle on his chest that had been peeled back to reveal his ribs and sternum, at the flayed remains of his left hand that revealed the carpals and metacarpals, and spoke with great effort with half his teeth missing._

"Yes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo lots of bloody and dark things from the autistic pre-med student. If that doesn't rock your boat then you can can read until Dorian talks in Tevene, and then all you need to know is Cullen faces internal demons that look like Dorian and he realised that despite everything, he loves Dorian and has hope that Dorian loves him back.


	8. Cockblocked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unfortunately, I only made it to about 1300 words for this one, but I thought that I was at a good chapter stopping point so :/
> 
> SHOUT OUT to all the people who read, all the people who kudos, and all the people who comment! I love the encouragement and it warms my cold, dead heart to know that people think my several thousand word combination of twenty-six letters and some dodgy punctuation is good and worth reading :D
> 
> (Also I can't work out what colour either of their eyes are so I'm mostly guessing (Dorians are too light to be brown but too dark for anything else?))

Dorian's pillow twitched and he felt so much as he heard a deep moan. Dawn streamed through the curtains and shifting around, he was annoyed to realise his back ached from where he had fallen asleep awkwardly and subsequently spent the night kneeling on the floor next to Cullen's bed. He stood up and cracked his back, leaning and twisting to loosen it but froze as he looked back forward. 

Coherent brown eyes made contact with hopeful grey ones. 

"Cullen?" 

"Dor- *cough* D- *cough*" Cullen threw his hand to cover his mouth as he descended into a violent coughing fit.

Dorian grabbed a glass of water from the desk and carefully helped Cullen drink from it.

"Slowly amatus." When the glass was finished he set it down and continued, "how do you feel?"

Cullen absently scrubbed his hand over his eyes. "Tired mostly. Hungry. My throat is killing and I'll explode if I don't take a piss."

Dorian laughed, "Tired? You've been asleep for days! Come on, the inquisitor's privy is just here." 

It took a few minutes for Dorian to get Cullen standing as the blonde was unhelpfully weak from his days in bed. When they finally got to the privy, the encountered another problem. 

"If I just lean against the wall-" 

"I'll *ahem* make sure Cassandra doesn't walk in-"

Dorian couldn't help but be curious as to how far down the paler man's flush went, thankfully his own darker skin hid the way blood rushed to his face. He turned around and faced the room as Cullen awkwardly heeded natures call.

They had made it back to the bed and Dorian eased Cullen against the headboard. As  
Cullen shifted uncomfortably against the wooden beams, Dorian grabbed all the bed's pillows and slid them between Cullen and the wood. When Dorian realised he was leaning over Cullen, hands on either side of the man's head as he adjusted the pillows, he flinched back from the proximity. Cullen, blushing furiously, sluggishly reached out to grab Dorians hand.

"Wait Dorian, I -" Cullen was interrupted by the downstairs door opening. 

"Fresh spiced veal today Dorian, you should be-" Cassandra appeared at the top of the stairs with a tray with a bowl of broth and a plate of veal before freezing in shock, "-happy."

"Hello Cassandra." Cullen rasped weakly.

"You're ... cognisant." She replied, stunned.

"Yes yes, isn't it amazing how the hibernating Fereldan has awoken from his beauty sleep but let's get some food into him maybe?" Dorian took the broth from the tray and brought it over to Cullen. "You should have this before you nod off."

Dorian ended up feeding Cullen with little help from the man himself, and by the time the bowl was empty his eyes were fluttering and his head was lolling forward in exhaustion. 

"It's alright amatus, the world will remain while you sleep." Cullen was snoring even before Dorian finished removing the pillows he had used to prop up the man. 

Cassandra sat at the chair with her head in her hands. "I thought he would never wake."

"Don't worry seeker, I'm sure you'll have the Inquisition's Commander back at work before the week's out." 

Cassandra looked up, disgust written on her face. "Just because you see Cullen as nothing more than a soldier, doesn't mean I do! I worry for the man as much as the commander, Dorian! You forget I've only have so much time to devote to my friend when the inquisition is a man down!"

Dorian looked away ashamed. "Apologies, I forget myself Cassandra." 

"No it's - it's fine. I should go. He won't be moving around for a while will he?" At Dorians nod she continued, "then I shall retrieve his chess set, I've seen you two play and it will keep his mind active and entertained." She soon left and Dorian sat watching Cullen sleep, absently chewing on the veal.

 

 

Cassandra came back at lunch time with food but confessed she had forgotten about the chess set. Dorian hesitated on whether to wake the slumbering man for food, and eventually decided food was too important to be ignored. He walked over and gently shook at Cullen's shoulder.

"Cullen? Cullen? Lunch time."

"Can you not just spirit him awake Dorian? Like you knocked him out?"

Dorian sighed and turned to face Cassandra, frustrated at her lack of understanding. "That's not how it works. I can flood his mind with exhaustion but no amount of mania will induce consciousness, and honestly it would probably do him some damage."

"Please don't do me any damage, my head is already stuffed with cotton." 

Dorian turned back and smiled, all of the frustration dropping off his face when he laid eyes on the coherent man. "Time for food Commander, and some time awake will likely clear some of those cobwebs." 

Once again Dorian propped up Cullen and helped him eat, but this time Cassandra left while he was still slurping at the broth, promising to bring the chess. When he finished, Dorian began to eat his own food, two thick slices of toasted bread lathered in lard and some sort of tar-like bitter spread.*

"How long was I out?" 

Dorian looked up, hesitating, "Six days."

"Si- **six** days!?" Cullen heaved in a breath, "what about my reports, t-the troops? How could you let me sleep for so long? **Six**..."

Dorian dropped the remains of his toast on the plate and rounded on the bedridden man.

"Do you think we just decided to knock you out for the better part of a week? It took us hours to realise you were missing and even more to find you buried and almost dead in the snow!"

Cullen seemed to realise he had misspoken, but Dorian continued before he could interject with an apology.

"I've spent almost two days making sure you didn't freeze to death only to have you screaming with nightmares for the next four! I had to feed you so you wouldn't die and make sure you didn't choke on the damn broth! Venhedis amatus!"** Dorian ran his hands through his hair, angry with himself for getting so worked up as much as he was annoyed at Cullen. 

"Wait, have you been here the whole time?" Cullen asked, surprised. 

Dorian sighed, "Well there needed to be a Mage in case your heart stopped again, and i wasn't going to trust that uncultured apostate hobo*** look after you and-" Dorian hesitated before continuing, "if I hadn't been here I would've just spent the whole time worrying anyway."

"Thank you Dorian."

"I - you're welcome." Dorian's annoyance drained and he walked over to edge onto the bed next to Cullen. 

Cullen reached over to brush his hand against Dorians moustache. "Sorry, you had food there and..." He trailed off, and they both realised how close they were on the bed, Dorian sitting right up against Cullen's legs and their faces close enough to feel the warmth of the others breath. Cullen slid his hand around to the back of Dorian's head and dragged the man forward. Their lips had barely met before the downstairs door opened loudly.

"Go away!" Cullen called, his cracked voice barely making it above usual speaking volume.

Dorian pulled back. "No Cullen, you are still too ill to engage in any ... Exciting activities." 

"Who's engaging in exciting activities? I've got your chess set." Cassandra looked between the two men, Cullen flushed bright red and Dorian awkwardly eyeing the ground. "Did I interrupt something?"

Dorian stood up to take the chess set, "Nope, we're fine, just discussing the Commanders limited exercise regime while he is still sick." Cassandra nodded in agreement before pleading the ever growing pile of work that she had to complete and leaving. 

Dorian dragged the small table so it was within easy reach of Cullen's arms and began to set up the game.  
"Here we go, something to wake up your mind without taxing your body."

Cullen sighed, "Fine, but I get to be white, and we will talk about this when I feel better."

"Wouldn't miss it for all the gold in Thedas, amatus."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *it's butter and vegemite on toast! Because I have to believe that Australia's second best invention (the first obviously being AFL) has magically make its way to Thedas. 
> 
> ** goddamn it my love" (is my interpretation of an imaginary language, got the words from the dragon age wiki)
> 
> *** re: Dorian's objections to Solas' outfit (d: Solas, what's this whole look of yours about? s: I'm sorry? d: no that outfit is sorry.), look up "Dorian Solas banter outfit"
> 
>  
> 
> Also, while I imagine Dorian would be ready to make out with any other man who flung himself at him, Dorian really cares for Cullen and wants it to be more meaningful than a quickie in a sickbed.


	9. Recovery and Restraint

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhh it gets more explicit? Warning? (Should probably warn for my terrible porn writing...)  
> (And when I say porn I mean lots of avoiding of sexytimes because Cullen is still bedridden and Dorian is a gentleman)

With nothing to do that was more exciting than playing chess, and with Cullen spending most of the next few days awake with only a small afternoon nap, the two men began to share a lot of time with each other. It was on the second day after Cullen had woken that they were playing chess on the bed in the dawn light. 

Dorian moved his pawn to take one of Cullen's, "My, my commander, if you keep losing pieces like this I fear I'll win this game."

Cullen leaned forward to slide his rook into the pawn before looking up and smiling at Dorian. "Gloat all you like, I have this one."

"Are you sassing me commander? I didn't know you had it in you." Dorian leaned forward to move his own piece, and they continued to play leaning over the board, their heads almost touching.

They both jerked backward as Cassandra arrived with breakfast. "Cullen is awake Dorian, I don't know why you cannot get him breakfast."

"Why seeker, you wouldn't want the poor man to injure himself while his healer is half a castle away, would you?" Dorian looked at Cassandra with mock hurt, seemingly truly worried that was exactly what the seeker intended.

She sighed, "No, I suppose not." 

When she placed the food down, Cullen craned his head to see what she had brought, when he did his face lit up.

"Bacon? And eggs?" He exclaimed.

"We thought you were well enough for something other than broth, but don't eat too quick." Dorian slid the chess board onto the other table, casually moving one of his pawns in accordance with Tevinter rules (even if Cullen called it cheating). Cullen sat on the bed and dug into his food while Dorian and Cassandra moved down the stairs to talk privately.

"How is he?" She whispered. 

"Good, or better at least. Walked to the privy without my help last night. Maybe two more days and he can go back to light work?"

She nodded, "Good, I'm sick of having to train the recruits, he always had more patience than me." 

Dorian hesitated before sharing his fears, "He continues to have nightmares. Nothing as bad as the ones he had been having, but they still wake him through the night."

"You worry he isn't getting enough sleep?" Cassandra asked, concerned.

Dorian shook his head, "No. He usually has a nap and that seems to tide him over. I'm more worried about his mental health. He seems to have passed the worst of the Lyrium fuelled dreams but what if he walks off again?"

"So, what? We post a guard on his door at night? That will inspire the troops with confidence in their commander." 

Dorian rubbed absently at the back of his head, "I don't know. Obviously that is not a solution, but here has to be one."

Cassandra left, the solution left unfound but regulated to tomorrow's problem, and Dorian went upstairs to eat his own breakfast. Cullen was savouring his own food, releasing a wanton moan at every bite of juicy bacon or creamy eggs. Dorian tried to focus on his own food, but with each sexual moan, Dorian's cock would twitch within his pants. When he looked up and over to the bed, Cullen made eye contact and began to clean his fingers of the bacon juice. Instead of licking them, he placed each finger within his mouth and sucked it down so his lips brushed against the webbing between his fingers. He sucked on it for a few seconds, moaning all the while, before moving on the next one. Dorian watched, awestruck.

_What do these southerners teach their Templars?_

Dorian was finding it increasingly difficult to resist walking over and giving the man something else to occupy that sinful mouth.

 _He is still sick!_ He admonished himself. _Wait until he can move more than ten feet unassisted!_ Unfortunately, Dorians traitorous cock refused to listen to reason.

 _Cassandra naked. Old Cassandra naked. Old hairy Cassandra naked with warts and boils._

Between staring intently at his food and thinking increasingly unappetising thoughts, Dorian managed to mostly will his erection into compliance. 

Cullen sighed, seemingly having had given up on his audiovisual torture session. "Are we finishing this game?" 

Dorian smiled before clearing away the plates and resetting up the chess on the bed between them. They continued playing, Cullen first reaching out to replace the pawn that Dorian moved into its proper place.

"You need to come to terms with my inevitable victory, you'll feel much better." Dorian grinned several turns later as he moved his knight to close in on Cullen's king.

"Really? Because I just won, and I feel fine." Cullen chuckled as he leaned back into the bed, as Dorian tried to figure out where he'd gone wrong.

"Don't get smug Commander," He sighed.

"As you say, I am the Commander of the Inquisition's forces, I have to have some measure of tactical skill." They began to reset the bored and Cullen continued. "As a child I would often play with my sister. Once winter came and our father no longer needed us on the farm we had little else to do to pass the time. She would get this stuck up grin whenever she won, which was all the time! My brother and I practiced together for weeks. The look on her face the day I finally won..." Cullen trailed off, lost in memory.

"Did you like it?" Dorian asked as he moved his first piece.

"Like what?"

"Your childhood, in Fereldan?"

Cullen laughed in response. "Except for those long long winter days it was rarely boring, I'll give it that!"

"Do you miss them?" Dorian asked. He hated his own family and knew that if he never saw them again it would be too soon, but was aware most people were closer to their parents and siblings.

"They moved after the blight and between the Templars and the inquisition, I haven't seen them in years. I wonder if she still plays..." They continued for a time before Cullen spoke again. "What about your family?"

Dorians hand jerked in surprise and he knocked over two of his pieces. He replaced them before replying stiffly, "I don't want to talk about them."

Cullen frowned. "Surely they aren't that bad-"

"I don't want to talk about them Cullen! Not everyone gets sickly sweet tales of chess and farming is the backend of nowhere!"

Cullen flinched at Dorian's outburst. "Sorry. It just occurred to me that I barely know anything about you."

The anger drained from Dorian and he looked away, embarrassed. "No, I shouldn't have yelled. Everyone in Tevinter are always competing to see who can be the best at everything and I hated it.  
I studied at Vyrantium then with Alexius before I left Tevinter. My kinsmen keep slaves and use blood magic to get advantages over their competitors. They are not nice people, Commander."

"Do you believe them beyond redemption?"

Dorian smiled bitterly, "If I truly believed my homeland was beyond all hope, I wouldn't miss it so much."

They continued to play in silence until Dorian noticed Cullen began to take longer and longer for his turns, but it was when he began to make obvious mistakes that Dorian decided to call the game.

"Time for a nap I think Commander."

Cullen struggled to get his eyes focused on Dorian. "'m fine D'rion."

Dorian knocked his king over in surrender and took most of Cullen's pillows from behind the man so he could lay down. 

"Look, I've lost and you're tired. Just rest your eyes until lunch. If you're good, we'll walk around a bit." 

Cullen drifted off, smiling at the thought of getting out of the bed and moving around to places further than the privy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And you can't tell me that those hot, sexually frustrated, teenage Templars didn't get up to anything with each other (And statistically, in medieval magic land they would have mostly been dudes) that's my excuse for seductive Cullen.
> 
> Real sexytimes will happen next chapter.


	10. Satisfaction pt.1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: sexytimes
> 
> This is the second last chapter for this story, mostly because I'm about to go to middle earth (I mean, New Zealand) for three weeks and it would be mean to leave you guys with an unfinished story, but also because I should finish this little story before I go torture these poor men again. When I do get back, the plan is to write a follow up story where they actually deal with Cullen's sorta-PTSD (and other things). I'm going to set an minimum of 2000 words for each chapter so the damn thing gets decent chapter lengths.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy the second last chapter.

Cullen awoke from his nap in time for lunch and they ate in companionable silence. Dorian was finished the last of his soup and looked up to see what could only be described as an adorable mabari pup. He was somewhat unfamiliar with the Fereldan dogs, but there was no doubt in his mind Cullen's wide, pleading eyes were perfectly emulating them. 

"Cullen want to go walkies?" Dorian teased.

They began to walk down the stairs, Cullen with grim determination to be self-sufficient and Dorian hovering just behind him in case the commander fell. Cullen managed to get all the way to the door that opened into the great hall unassisted by Dorian, but the return trip was beyond his capabilities. 

With one arm around Dorians shoulder, they managed to walk slowly back to the inquisitor's bedroom and ease Cullen into the bed. 

"Maker, how am I so unfit after a week's bed rest?"

Dorian laughed, "I'll hazard you've never died of hypothermia while in the throes of withdrawal and had to be almost resurrected before?"

Cullen looked at Dorian oddly, "Surely it wasn't that serious?"

"Why did you think I was, and still am, spending all day with you?" At Cullen's crestfallen face Dorian realised his mistake, "It was only partly because of your rugged handsomeness, Cullen. You were a papercut away from making Cassandra our new commander, and unlike you, she isn't dashing enough to raise morale every time she trains."

Cullen smiled at that, "It would be remiss of me to deny the raising of morale."

"Yes. Well, you had us rather worried there for a while, but you are making a rather speedy recovery. And honestly your lack of energy is mostly due to me."

"What do you mean?"

"Well I didn't have the mana to completely restart your heart and get you breathing and get you warm enough for you to not just freeze so I had to ... Improvise."

Cullen narrowed his eyes, "Dorian. What. Did. You. Do."

Dorian seemed surprised by Cullen's tone. "Maker no! Nothing like that! Not all Tevinter are blood mages Cullen! I just called upon some of your bodies reserves. I kept you breathing, kept your heart going but I to get your body to raise your temperature itself. I pushed your body to burn everything it could to keep you from freezing! It nearly killed me to do that much and you almost died anyway!" Dorian looked away, trying to hide the tears from his outburst.

Cullen stood up and carefully wiped the moisture from Dorian's face with his fingers. "I'm sorry Dorian. I was so caught up I didn't realise that you were suffering as much as I was." Cullen adjusted his hand so he was slowly stroking Dorian's face. "I shouldn't have accused you. I'm afraid I'm still rather quick to judge when it comes to mages." He leaned forward, giving Dorian plenty of time to back away, before joining their lips in a quick, chaste kiss. 

Dorian burst into laughter and Cullen frowned, confused. "It just, you've been so forward amatus, and that's your declaration of affection? A kiss between brothers was unex-" Cullen interrupted him by bringing his other hand up to grip at Dorians hair and smash their faces together in a brutal, passionate kiss. After a few second of clacking teeth and squished noses, Dorian broke the kiss by shoving Cullen back onto the bed. Dorian knelt on the bed, straddling Cullen and removing the ex-templar's shirt. 

"Beautiful..." He muttered.

Cullen laughed before dragging Dorian into another desperate kiss. It took them several minutes to divest each other of their clothes as they kept stealing kisses, but they soon ended up fully naked on the bed, Cullen on his back in the middle of it and Dorian kneeling either side of his hips. Dorian slid his fingers down to flick at Cullen's left nipple and the man almost bucked Dorian off the bed.

"Oh maker." Cullen moaned. 

Dorian grinned before leaning down to nip at the other nipple with he teeth, causing Cullen to cry out. Alternating between gently biting and sucking, Cullen continued to moan breathlessly.

Cullen grabbed at Dorian's ass and looked around manically, "Is there oil somewhere? If we don't get a move on I'll be done before we get started." 

Dorian pulled back to look Cullen in the eye and laughed, "You've obviously never been with a Mage." He muttered something in Tevene and Cullen felt his fingers become slick. 

"Tricky bastard." He eased a finger into Dorian and the man moaned, his head falling down to rest on Cullen's shoulder. Sliding in a second, Cullen began to search for a spot that he knew from his own nighttime endeavours and past experiences. When Dorian jerked and bit harshly into Cullen's shoulder to keep himself from crying out, the commander knew he had found it. He slowly rubbed the two fingers in tight little circles to stimulate the gland before pushing at it from the outside with his thumb. Dorian was moaning constantly now, and Cullen could feel the wetness as the other man's cock leaked precum everywhere.

"You are not the only person who can tease, Dorian." Cullen whispered into the Altus' ear.

"If we don't get a move on I'll be done before we get started." Dorian echoed Cullen's earlier sentiment, before saying similar Tevene words to cause Cullen's dick to become slick. Cullen eased his fingers out and Dorian began to slide himself onto the other man's cock. They moaned simultaneously as Cullen bottomed out. Dorian slid up slightly before falling back down, and soon they had a shaky rhythm going. Dorian slid his fingers up to flick at one of Cullen's nipples while squeezing tightly around the commander. Cullen threw his head back and groaned as he came, still thrusting shallowly. He frantically grabbed at Dorians cock, stroking it quickly, and soon they other man was coming too. 

They laid there for a while before Cullen began to shift. "We should clean up." 

Dorian still had his head buried in the other man's shoulder, and while Cullen couldn't hear what he moaned, the sudden lack of bodily fluids on the two men identified it as another bout of the Tevene's sexual magic. Cullen felt his eyes begin to droop and, satiated and warm, he drifted off.


	11. Satisfaction pt.2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: sexytimes
> 
> This is last chapter for this story, mostly because I'm about to go to middle earth (I mean, New Zealand) for three weeks and it would be mean to leave you guys with an unfinished story, but also because I should finish this little story before I go torture these poor men again. When I do get back, the plan is to write a follow up story where they actually deal with Cullen's sorta-PTSD (and other things). I'm going to set an minimum of 2000 words for each chapter so the damn thing gets decent chapter lengths.

Dorian heard a door opening as he awoke, but was somewhat distracted by the warm, muscular body he was lying on to realise its significance in time.

"Makers breath - Get a room!" Cassandra yelled. 

"We've got a room, has a wonderful view and a great bed." Dorian quipped, trying not to laugh.

Cullen stirred underneath Dorian, "Wha - Cassandra why are you -" he trailed off as he realised who was spread out on top of him.

"The hole in your roof is fixed commander, and the inquisitor is due to return to Skyhold on the morrow." Cassandra carefully avoided looking at either of the men as she spoke, before stomping off, muttering about men and their sexual drives.

Cullen eyed the setting sun critically before speaking, "I should go to my quarters before it gets to cold, the inquisitors room will have be prepared for their arrival."

Dorian agreed, "I'll go get you something warm to wear on the walk over." He quickly dressed and left.

Cullen eased himself to his feet and began the arduous task of convincing his body that it could walk the few minutes from the inquisitors quarters to his own ones. Unfortunately, the only price of his failure to walk by himself was Dorian supporting his weight, a deterrent that did nothing to convince his body to co-operate. 

Dorian returned not much later with warm winter clothes, including his pauldrons. "I've set the fire going in your room, so it should be a bit warm when we get there, after a few minutes of Dorian helping Cullen get dressed, they began the trek to the Commander's quarters. Cullen made it further this time, however it was as they entered Solas' workshop that the ex-templar's body decided it wasn't quite up to the task of supporting itself. Dorian slid Cullen's arm over his shoulder and prompted the man to lean his other arm on the wall.

"Is the commander alright?" Solas asked.

"I'm fine Solas, just going to bed now." 

Solas frowned, but was content to let them both through. The next problem occurred when the reached the ladder to Cullen's bed. 

"Do you thing you can climb it?" Dorian asked sceptically.

Cullen looked up to the second story wearily, "I'll be fine Dorian, you worry too much." 

Admittedly, Dorian had to magically prop the Commander up twice when he was in danger of falling, but otherwise they made it up without any major issues. Cullen went straight for the bed and collapsed face-first into it, groaning pitifully in exhaustion. 

Dorian laughed, "Come on Cullen! You cannot sleep like that." Dorian began to strip the commander of his more buckled and pointy bits of clothing, ignoring Cullen's mutterings about Dorian wanting to undress him. With the commander warm and tucked in, Dorian stood to leave.

"Stay, Dorian? Please?" 

Dorian sighed, he had never been good at emotional attachment. He was only interested in men, and Tevinter homosexual relationships were only ever casual sex sessions. Despite his misgivings, Dorian lay beside Cullen, deciding that perhaps here, in Fereldan, they could have something more than he would have had at home. 

 

_Dorian lay naked on the bed and felt a wet heat encompass his dick. Gasping, he looked down to see short blonde hair bob up and down. They would slide right down to the root, he could feel the head of his dick just breaching their throat, before easing off to swirl their tongue at the the slit of his cock. He moaned, reaching down to loosely grasp his hand in the slightly curly locks. Dorian began to breathe heavier, knowing his release was coming._

_"I-I-I'm g-going to -"_

_He felt the small pressure of a finger rest against his asshole and - "_

Opened his eyes, crying out as he came sticky and wet downs Cullen's throat. Cullen looked up, realising that Dorian had awoken, and grinned ridiculously. He moved up Dorian's body to crush their mouths together. Dorian hooked his leg over Cullen's legs and threw his body weight to the side, rolling them over to leave Dorian on top.

"You Fereldan are horny bastards." Dorian murmured between kisses. He felt Cullen's cock pushing insistently at his thigh and had a thought to return the other man's morning wake up. 

Dorian pulled back to look Cullen in the eye. "Are you okay if I use magic while we do this?"

Cullen frowned, "What kind? I liked the instant slick yesterday but..."

"Nothing dangerous, I know you'll enjoy it." 

Cullen's eyes slid away and he looked off, thinking. "Yes you can. I trust you Dorian."

Dorian smiled and laid his palms, one over each of Cullen's nipples, he hadn't failed to notice how sensitive they had been last night, and he was determined to see how far he could push the other man. Slowly, he eased first into the left and and ice into the right. After a few seconds, Cullen gasped and jerked up. 

"Maker -"

"No, just me." Dorian replied cheekily. He pushed the temperatures further out before suddenly switching them. In response, Cullen grabbed at Dorians head to drag them into another kiss. He was rutting frantically against Dorians leg, his chest twitching and flexing as if he simultaneously wanted to escape and get more of the sensation. Dorian slid his hands downtown Cullen's dick and it only took a few strokes before the other man was coming. 

They stayed in the bed for a while, but soon the noise from the world outside and the sun streaming in through the window (thankfully no longer through the hole in the ceiling, bordered up as Cassandra had promised). As they both began to dress for the day, Dorian spoke up.

"Be careful Cullen, you may be feeling better but you cannot push yourself."

Cullen nodded before replying. "I will. Dorian, I need to ask you something important."

"Of course."

"Dorian, what is this to you? I can't do casual, and if that's what you want then I've got to end it now."

Dorian looked at Cullen for a few seconds, thinking. "I've never had a serious relationship before, Cullen. In Tevinter, heterosexual relationships are the only relationships but... If you can be patient with me, if we can talk to each other and," Dorian laughed, "keep up with the great sex." Cullen smiled at that and Dorian continued. "I think we can try this out."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all folks! Watch this space!
> 
> A special thanks to all the people who hit the kudos button, who typed out fantastically encouraging and constructively critical comments, and also to those who just stopped by to read. You guys are awesome :)

**Author's Note:**

> Con-crit is awesome!  
> (Also my iPad enjoys autocorrecting everything because it's a piece of sheet. So if you see any glaring errors, like Cullen suffering from lyric withdrawal, please tell me and I'll fix it)


End file.
